It may seem hokey, but this was the moment Cole needed.
Admit it. We’re all guilty of not appreciating the gift of life we’ve been given. We wallow in our sorrows, feel hopeless, act like being dead wouldn’t be so bad but then, when faced with the prospect of actual death, we realize the alternative is way better.
Cole had to see those big gator jaws coming at him to realize he wasn’t ready to meet his maker. For most of us though, death won’t come in the form of gator jaws. It’ll come in the form of heart disease, cancer, some other bodily issue and though inevitable, perhaps we can stave it off as long as we can by exercising, eating right, etc.
Life is better than the alternative.
Hmm. At this point, are you more scared of the toilet gator or Maude?
We all know at least one Maude in real life, don’t we?
OK, I’ll admit it. The Dumb Dad thing was my chance to crowbar in a whole commentary about sitcoms portray fathers as idiots. Sure, there are plenty of dads who are dumb, but aren’t there some who are smart? Can’t there occasionally be a smart dad? And why are moms always portrayed as geniuses? Isn’t there at least one dumb mom out there?
Sweet merciful butt nuggets.
Do you think the professor was tripping balls or did that conversation with Sally actually happen?
So much stuff to break down in this transcript.
Do you think Stank Daddy’s songs are about the causes he says they are about or are they just about perpetrating violence against women?
Is it just me, or is a late night show where a coked up parrot reads funny news headlines a great idea, yet tragically, it can never be pursued because to get a parrot addicted to coke would be unethical?
Funny, I finished the first draft of this novel in June of 2017. The #metoo movement didn’t start until the fall. Perhaps I’m some sort of psychic who predicted all of this? Anyway, hats off to Natalie. With Walter’s help, she waited until just the right time and once the toilet gator story reached its zenith (so she couldn’t be taken off it) she let Kurt have it, exposing his pervery to the world.
Poor Little Kurty.
Plan B is on the move.
Look, I’m just going to say it. Cole being dragged in his undies by a rope attached to a fast sports car while being chased by a toilet gator is an awesome scene, begging to be turned into a movie. Hollywood, why you haven’t offered me a ton of cash money bling for this shit, I don’t know.
See you in hell, toilet gator.
Wait. What the hell happened?
Note that Cole went into this mission with Plans A, B and C.
If you didn’t figure it out on your own:
PLAN A = blow up the toilet gator with the prosthetic leg bomb.
PLAN B = hit the toilet gator with big rig trucks.
PLAN C= Shoot a missile at the toilet gator.
Always come up with at least three plans because your first plan may not work, and then you’re left getting dragged out onto a mall concourse in your underwear, hitting that remote button, telling the gator you’ll see him in hell and yet nothing happens.
Did you figure out what Cole was up to before this chapter?
What is Cole doing? Why would he plunge his leg into all that poopy water?
Where did Moses go?
Why won’t Felix talk just this once?
Here, gator, gator, gator…