Toilet Gator Chapter Notes – Chapter 6


I started this book with the idea that an alligator popping out of a toilet to eat people would be funny…for the reader, not so much for the person being eaten, obviously.

I commissioned a cover and once I saw it, I knew I had to do it.

But I had to think…and…think….and then I came up with it.  What if the gator pops out of the toilet, eats the person, then returns to the sewer, undetected?  It’d be the perfect, unsolvable murder.  The cops would just think that some kind of ninja was running around killing people on the toilet.

And so, this fine novel was born.

But I had to come up with funny ways for people to die on the toilet, and at the time of the writing, the whole which gender should be allowed to use which bathroom debate was still somewhat fresh.

I was always disturbed by that debate.  It made me sad that we, as a society, couldn’t have reached an understanding without involving government.  On the one hand, I thought, yeah if you’ve got a dong then go in the men’s room and if you’ve got a snootch then go in the ladies’ room but ok, as the debate raged on the press would interview like, women who looked like dudes and dudes who looked like women and I could see how like, say, a dude in a dress would probably cause more of a stir going in the men’s room than the ladies so….I just wish we all could have exercised some discretion rather than turn to the government.

But you have to admit, the whole idea is funny and rife for parody.  Here, Chad has consumed way too many energy beers and he’s erupting at both ends.  He’s made it to the nearest open bathroom, a ladies’ room, and there is a woman mad he is in there.  She’s about to call the cops and to save himself, Chad cries, “I identify as a chick!” and then the hi-jinx ensue.

I think I was able to poke fun at this whole situation without being mean but what do I know?  Discuss in the comments.

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