Two Key Themes Here:
FIRST – putting love over sex.
Readers, this might come to you as a shock, but when I was young, I struck out with the ladies all the time. I had a better chance of winning the money lotto than I did winning the poon lotto, let me tell you.
I got dumped and rejected left and right in my early twenties but oddly enough, in my late twenties, there were a few nice women who were interested in yours truly. Looking back, that makes sense. My parents’ generation got married early. My generation doesn’t start thinking about tying the knot until at least the late 20s, if that.
Idiot that I was, I let all those nice women fly the coop. See, I was young (in retrospect, I wasn’t but my brain was that of a man child I suppose) and I thought that surely, my life would change for the better. I’d make a lot of money. I’d become rich and successful. I’d fix all the bodily flaws that make me lack confidence. And then it would be babe city.
Really. I thought I was doing these nice women a favor by going solo and waiting for my big time success and my super fly supermodels to start rolling in.
SPOILER ALERT: they never rolled in. I know. A guy writing a blog about a book about a toilet gator? Hard to believe.
End result is I’m now in my late 30s, way too close to 40. Never been married. I doubt I’ll ever have kids. I still hold out hope but now my biological clock is ticking and I know it will be a matter of time before a) my junk starts shooting spiders instead of primo baby making juice and b) I’ll get so old that if I have a baby, I’ll change the baby’s diapers and then the baby will change my diapers.
I never had that wild, crazy sex lifestyle like Chad had. When I was young, I wanted it. I think in our minds, we all want that but that’s just a lifestyle that only happens for a very select few people.
Really, it saddens me it took me till almost 40 to realize that the best you can hope for is someone who has a similar personality, similar interests, someone who is loyal and hey, the good news is that you’ll get regular sex out of it. The bad news is it is sex with the same person but the good news is that it isn’t like a train of people are waiting to have sex with you so…be real. It’s this one person that’s willing to see you naked without barfing or its your hand for the rest of your days. Use your brain.
Ironically, Chad does live that hot sex with a different babe every night lifestyle…but as he reaches his late 20s (10 years on that 2 year degree), you can tell he regrets his choices. He had Britney. He loved her. But he couldn’t control himself. So he got it on with other chicks. Fun at the moment but then these dalliances just become a distant memory. Britney would have been there for him day in and day out and Chad realizes that and feels bad about it now.
Bottomline: Whether you can actually pull off the sex with multiple partners all the time lifestyle, or you’ve deluded yourself into thinking that will come, sex with one person you connect with for the long haul is the way to go.
You don’t realize it now. We never learn what we did wrong until it’s too late. When you are young, you think you’ll be young forever. Trust me. However ugly you think you are now, you will never be as good looking as you are now. When you are 40, you will wish you looked like you do now.
And whatever shortcomings you think your dates have now, that’s nothing compared to the dating pool when you’re 40. People in their 20s and 30s are still hoping for a happy ending. People in their late 30s and 40s are just happy if they can find someone who isn’t on drugs and isn’t going to cut out their kidneys and sell them to the Japanese Yakuza.
Seriously. No joke. I’m almost 40 and after every date, if I wake up the next morning in my bed and not in the tub filled with ice and a note and a phone and the note says call 911 and the Yakuza owns my kidneys now, then I figure that date was a winner and I’ll call her to go out again.
Don’t be like Chad…or me. Don’t delude yourself into thinking that multiple trysts = bliss. Focus your efforts on finding one soulmate. It’s not the quantity. It’s the quality.
Find love while you have options. I don’t care if that girl’s breath stinks. Get her a mint and commit because damn it, you do not want to see what you’ll be dating at 40. Just don’t. I did it for you, OK? I took the bullet so you don’t have to.